Clara's Weakness
by crowned-monarch
Summary: The Doctor has taken Clara home after Trenzalore to keep her safe, but Clara is her own destruction.
1. Chapter 1

"Cranberry and vodka!" Clara Oswald shouted at the bartender over the music in the pub. He eyed her suspiciously before filling her order. She'd already had five. Clara took the drink and threw a few pounds onto the counter before stepping away from the bar. She leaned heavily against one of the tables and took large gulps of her drink through the mixing straw.

She felt a hand on her back and looked around to see Emma Jermaine, her oldest friend.

"Clara. Are you okay?" Emma shouted.

"I'm great!" Clara yelled back, "It's so loud in here!"

Emma nodded. "I'm going to go outside for a bit. Shall you join me?"

Clara shook her head no, and Emma left. "I'll be right back."

Clara pounded back the rest of her drink and had caught the watchful eye of a stranger nearby.

"You sure know how to drink," he told her, placing his hand on the small of her back. He was broad with dirty blonde hair.

Clara backed away.

"Come with me. Allow me to get you another?"

Clara cautiously took up his offer and followed him back to the bar. She couldn't pass up a free drink tonight. She needed to be as numb as possible.

"What'll it be?"

"Something strong."

She didn't hear what he ordered, but when he handed her the glass, the alcohol burned her mouth.

"Good?" He asked, "It's a lemon drop. Be careful; too many of them and you'll forget your own name. What is it by the way?"

"Clara." She took his hand.

"Clara." He repeated. "Nice name."

Her insides clenched. _He_ had said the same thing, the Doctor.

"Daniel," He responded.

Emma found them again and eyed Daniel.

"Well, Maybe I'll see you again," Daniel said as Emma's gaze got to him.

"Wait." Clara's courage to ask was fueled by the alcohol. "Could you get me another?" She threw back the rest of the lemon drop.

"Clara." Emma's tone was sharp, "how many have you had?"

Daniel walked away and then came back handing her another. "Til next time, Ms. Clara."

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Clara said to Emma as she guzzled her last drink. She turned around and parted ways. She gripped the wall for support. The sound of the music bounced around in her head. Clara flung her head from side to side. She felt her neck wasn't going to hold it up much longer. She giggled and stumbled into the bathroom. It always happened. Clara never knew how drunk she was until she got to the bathroom. The stalls danced in front of her eyes. She had never been this drunk. Even when she turned eighteen. She needed some fresh air.

Clara wobbled back through the crowd and out the front door of the pub. There were a few people scattered about, but since the weather had gotten colder lately, there weren't many. Clara went around to the side parking lot so she could be alone. It was completely isolated and she leaned against the wall.

"Are you okay?" It was Daniel. He was coming around the side too. He must have seen her go back there.

"I'm fine," Clara slurred, as she teetered against the wall, her head lulling. She just wanted to be alone.

"You don't seem fine."

"Things are never what they seem."

Daniel approached her and put his hands on her hips. He was nearly a foot taller than she. She felt her heartbeat pick up. She didn't want to be touched like this.

Daniel moved his hand up the side of her body to her cheek, and he stroked it gently.

"What are you doing?" Clara's voice shook.

"I'd really like to kiss you right now."

Clara's body froze. "No. No thank you. I don't want you to kiss me."

Daniel came closer. He traced her jaw line. He moved his face close to hers.

"Please just stop," Clara whispered close to tears.

"Shhh," he grabbed her wrists and held them against the wall. He pressed her body there too, pinning it with his own. Daniel pressed his lips against her jaw. He moved to her neck, her shoulder and collar bone.

"Stop!" Clara shoved all her weight towards him with what she thought was force, but she actually just tripped forward, toppling into Daniel's arms. Clara could barely see. She closed her eyes to the spinning. She was too weak to try to get away from Daniel. She was too powerless and scared to try to fight him off. She stayed limp in his arms.

"I believe the lady said no," the venomous voice was male.

His voice. Clara perked up, slightly responsive to his voice as she slumped against Daniel.

"Get out of here." The voice said. "And if I ever see you near her again, there will be trouble."

"What are you going to do about it?"

Clara heard the familiar sound of the sonic. The Doctor shined it in Daniel's face. Daniel immediately shrieked with agony, and covered his eyes dropping Clara to the ground. He retreated away.

"That's what I thought," the Doctor retorted.

Clara's cheek pressed into the cold ground. She felt heavy and began slipping into sleep. Her body was about to cave completely.

"Clara?" The Doctor's nervous voice echoed and he grabbed her around both biceps and pulled her up. He shook her. "Clara, what are you doing?"

She answered feebly. "Trying to make him go away."

"He's gone."

"Not him."

"Then who?"

"You."

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you didn't want me on board anymore. I thought you liked having me around."

"I do."

"Then why?" Clara began to cry, and as drunkenness always does, soft tears soon turned into violent sobs.

"Clara, I should have never said that."

She wasn't listening. She tried to stifle her crying.

"Clara," the Doctor whispered, lost for words. He put his hands on either side of her face as he often did and tried to bring her into a hug.

"No." She shoved him off and began heading towards the street. The Doctor noticed a speeding taxi and forcefully pulled Clara back against him.

She spun around and slapped him hard across the face.

"Don't touch me!" She shrieked as she pushed past him and tried to walk again. Her knees buckled, and the Doctor caught her around the waist. "I hate you!" she screeched in a voice the Doctor could never imagine belonging to his Clara. She tried to break away, but she just ended up tiring herself out. Clara finally relaxed her body. She leaned against the Doctor and she buried her face.

Agony. That is what he felt. What had he done to Clara?

The Doctor eased his grip, feeling now that she wouldn't go anywhere. He shouldn't have.

Clara's eyes rolled back. She wavered for only a second before she collapsed onto the concrete, right through his unexpecting arms. The last thing she heard before she passed out was the Doctor's frantic shout.

"Clara!"


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor turned away from his darkest secret. He walked a few steps before looking down at Clara. She was still holding onto her leaf. Her left arm had dropped from around his neck and hung behind him.

"It'll be okay," he said more to himself than to her.

"You can't run away from me." He heard from behind him as the older Doctor spoke.

He spun around again, and as he did, Clara's fingers fell open and her leaf flittered to the ground. Her hand had been her last thread on consciousness and she now lay completely lifeless.

"I am your past, present and future. You can't turn your back on me."

"She's dying," the Doctor focused on Clara, "let me get her out. Please."

They stood in silence for a few moments.

"If I let you out, you have a duty to fulfill to me."

"I'll do anything," the Doctor told himself, "just let me save her."

The Doctor backed away slowly.

"You can't get out alone. You need me."

"What's the duty?" The Doctor asked.

"Take me on board with you."

"That's impossible."

"You need me, Doctor; there's a war coming; you'll never make it without me."

The Doctor hesitated, but Clara was losing the color in her cheeks and her chest was barely moving. "Okay," the Doctor said exasperated, "let's go."

The older Doctor walked in front. It felt like an eternity, and the Doctor staggered as Clara was getting heavy. They stopped before a large white door which had a shimmering blue light pouring from the underside.

"You know what you need to do," The older Doctor said.

The current Doctor dropped his head, and then he cautiously whispered his name.

The door burst open and the light washed over the three of them like a tidal wave. When it cleared they were standing back in the tomb. The Doctor fell to his knees and lay Clara on the floor, her head in his lap.

"Is she alive?" Vastra asked.

The Doctor didn't answer. He smoothed Clara's hair back as he gently caressed her face where her cheeks were already turning rosy again.

"I will take the boy to his room," Strax said as he bent down to pick up Clara.

The Doctor didn't protest.

When the two were gone, the elephant in the room had to be acknowledged.

"Well 'oos this?" Jenny asked in her Cockney accent, gesturing towards the older Doctor.

"He's me," the Doctor quickly answered.

Silence.

"Well," the Doctor began, turning to himself, "you said there's a war coming; what does that mean?"


	3. Chapter 3

Strax stood at the edge of Clara's bed. When the Doctor arrived, she still had not woken. While there was color in her body again, she looked more gone than alive in her movement and breathing.

"Is she going to be okay?" The Doctor asked.

"He shows signs of incredibly high brain activity. And then, almost as instantly, he shows none. His body is trying to sort through all the information he received all at one. He's fallen into what the humans call a coma."

The Doctor's stomach heaved. He knew some people didn't recover from comas. "She's going to be fine," the Doctor whispered to himself, "she has to be."

"I've done all I can do for the time being," Strax comforted, "I'll leave him alone for awhile."

The Doctor sat down next to Clara on the bed and put his hand on her forehead. He immediately drew it away. She was on fire. Looking at her properly, she had beads of sweat forming on her temples and upper lip. His hand was moist. He stood up and threw all the covers away from her.

"Vastra," he commanded, seeing her in the doorway, "I need cool rags."

* * *

Clara was alone. She sat by herself on a dry, cracked dirt plot. She was cold and wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face. There was nothing. She let out a frustrated cry before she heard a tinkering sound. She looked up to see shimmering yellow lights whisking not ten feet from her. The lights crossed past one another until they came together to manifest into a woman. She was young and slim and a bit taller with blonde hair and glowing golden eyes.

Clara stared in shock, and the woman made no motion.

Clara wondered if she should be scared or curious, but instead the woman had a calming effect on her.

"What are you?" Clara finally asked.

"I'm like you," the woman spoke in a low, almost monotone voice. "I've been spread all across time and space. The words of my name, scattered. I've seen the whole universe. All there ever was. All there ever will be. And you, Clara. I've seen all of you. You're braver than you think. And you can't stay here. You don't stop here. I can help you."

"And who are you?" Clara asked.

"You mean you haven't heard of me?"

"Shouldn't think so."

"Well, impossible girl, they call me Bad Wolf."


	4. Chapter 4

Clara stared at the woman. Yes she had heard of her. She had seen her. How could she have forgotten?

"Rose Tyler," Clara said.

"I guess you could call me that."

"Well how to I get back?"

"Oh I don't know. How did you get here?"

"I was falling. That's all I remember."

"Come on, Clara. You're the impossible girl; you defy death. You've figured out how to save the universe since the beginning of time, and you can't even begin to figure out how to get home?" Rose was in her face now "You have to make _this_ work." Rose said jutting her right index finger between Clara's eyes on the bridge of her nose. "Literally and figuratively. Imagine a way home."

Rose pulled Clara up from the ground. They stood facing each other. The tip of Clara's head came to just above Rose's eyebrows, and for a second, Clara had a flashback to looking up at her mum. The two were about the same height difference apart.

Rose put her hands on either side of Clara's face and gently swept the wetness away from under her eyes. "No more crying. Warriors don't cry."

Clara's legs were a little shaky but she managed to steady herself.

"Imagine a way out."

Clara closed her eyes. In her mind she patched together the cracked dirt. She planted grass and grew tiny blue flowers. She sprouted trees, thick with leaves, and she spread it out for miles. She formed a gravel pathway. She followed it in her mind. It led to a dead end. A cliff overlooking a long, black nothingness.

"It ends," Clara said.

"Everything ends," Rose said. "Open your eyes."

Clara flicked her eyes open, and to her astonishment, the world she had just made appeared in front of her."

"Our only limitation is our own mind," Rose said. "Look what you've created. Follow it until then. And jump, Clara. Fall again. Maybe a different direction this time. I think you might be pleasantly surprised where it takes you."

"How do you know?"

"I've already seen it."

Clara took a few steps forward.

You have to do what you do best."

"What's that?"

"Save the Doctor."

"How?"

"By staying alive."


	5. Chapter 5

Clara walked along the gravel pathway. With each step she felt a little more hopeful. A Little lighter. When she reached the end of the road, she looked down into the black pit. There was no way to see the bottom. Nowhere of telling where it led to. She had set out on her own, but when she looked behind her, Rose was standing there again.

"That's you," Rose said, quietly.

"I'm sorry?"

"You made the way out with your mind. But that drop is where your mind ends. You're scared. That's the void in your life. You don't know where you're going next. There's so much time that you've lost; so many things you don't know or understand."

"Okay, so what do I do?"

"You conquer it. You jump."

"I can't."

"Then I guess you'll be stuck here forever," Rose shrugged and she began to fade out.

"No," Clara protested. "Don't leave me here."

But Rose was gone.

Clara cowered at the edge of the cliff. She looked to both sides, but the drop went on sideways for miles. A whole horizon's worth. She crouched down and hugged her knees.

"It's not real," she told herself, "I'll be fine. None of this is real. It can't be."

"You can do it, Clara," she heard. It was the Doctor's voice.

She opened her clenched eyes and the Doctor stood only a centimeter away from the canyon. He held his hand out. "You'll be okay."

Clara stood up; she reached her hand out, but had to walk forward a few paces to grab it. Once she had, the Doctor pulled towards him and led her forward. He positioned her so that the tips of her toes were on the very edge. He moved to stand behind her and held her shoulders. "Do it!" He said exasperated. Clara took a deep breath. She looked back at the Doctor once more before she stepped off with her right foot. She trusted the Doctor.

And she fell.


	6. Chapter 6

Clara fell until she saw the ground approaching. She braced herself for impact, but instead, she broke through the ground as easily as if it had been a cloud. She was somewhere else now. Uncomfortable. Her muscles ached. Her right ankle was unbearable. She felt drugged and tired. She looked around. She was in her room in the Tardis, but she was alone. It was all a dream? What happened to her?

She sat up, and then it all came back.

There she was, meeting the Doctor for the very first time; convincing him to take one Tardis over the other. There she was again, trying to get his attention in the side view mirrors of an old fashioned car. She was in a huge library, running from skeletons. An ancient planet, on Galofrey itself, inside a tiny cavern. She ran through Victorian London. She fell from a cloud.

All eleven doctors came back in huge torrents. Clara cried out, and the Doctor came running into her room. She sat up, folded in half with her head near her lap and her hands covering her ears.

"You're okay," The Doctor said, relief coursing through his voice. "You're here with us and you are fine." He sat down with Clara.

He had to tell her something, but right now he didn't think her mind could handle any more stress. His past self had told him something about the coming war. The Doctor's visit into his own time stream had ripped a hole in the continuum. The Time War was upon them. And he couldn't have Clara in that sort of danger.

"My head, Doctor, it's killing me. My body. Everything hurts."

He rubbed her back. "I think you need more time to relax." The Doctor called Strax back into the room. "Put her back to sleep."

"No," Clara protested, remembering how scared she had been when she didn't know where she was in her dream.

Strax disappeared for a bit and came back with a tiny syringe.

"I said no," She stated firmly and then inhaled through her teeth and clenched her eyes as pain struck her in the head.

"You need sleep," the Doctor ordered.

"I'm fine."

He looked to Strax, "Do it."

Strax looked to Clara and took her right arm, "Sorry, boy."

"Clara tried to pull her arm away but Strax's grip was too tight and she was too weak. The Doctor felt she needed more sleep with the reassurance that she would wake up this time.

Strax pulled the needle from her arm, and turned to exit.

"I won't sleep," Clara told the Doctor.

"My stubborn Clara."

Clara glared at him but her eyes were already starting to get heavy.

"I'm scared to sleep," she said.

"It'll be okay."

Her eyes fought to stay open.

"Don't leave."

"Right here."

"Doctor?" She slurred with a long, tired breath between each syllable.

"Clara?" The Doctor responded as he gently played with her hair.

She was gone.

Later that night, Clara woke up again. Her head felt much better and so did her body and ankle. She wondered if Strax had fixed it somehow.

The Doctor wasn't there anymore and Clara frowned. She specifically remembered asking him not to leave.

She wiggled her toes and sat up. She pulled the covers away and worked her way into a standing position where she finally made it into the control room. The doctor was sitting on a chair with his head in his hands.

"Doctor?"

He popped up, "Well there you are! How are you feeling? Would you like anything? Tea? Dinner?"

"No I'm fine. Doctor? Are we on your Tardis or still in the tomb?"

"My Tardis. Strax carried you back. We're actually right outside the Maitland's house."

"Their house?"

"You're going home."

"Home?" Clara's voice dropped and became ice cold.

"For good, Clara."

Clara's heart beat a thousand miles a minute.

"How is your head?"

"It's okay," she answered, "Why?"

He frowned."I was afraid I'd have to take your memories away. I've done it before."

"Away?"

"Yes, Clara. Away. All our time together. All the places you've been."

It pained him so much to see the way she looked at him, tears overflowing from her eyes. She shook her head no.

"I don't want to forget."

"You won't have to. I think you're strong enough to handle it."

"Why can't I stay?"

"It's the only thing I can do to fix you."

"I'm not broken."

"Clara, I'm going to kill you. I am killing you. Look what happened. I could never live with myself if I hurt you."

"I'm fine!" She sobbed.

"You're going home!" He screamed at her.

Clara was speechless. The Doctor had never yelled at her.

"Please."

"Go to all those places you wanted to see. All those things you wanted to do," He told her as he stood up.

"I want to be with you."

"Well I don't want you here! You get in the way."

Clara looked for some relent in his eyes. Some warm gesture. He offered none. He stood there like a statue. Clara could barely breathe. She sobbed between ragged breaths.

"I'm sorry," She finally managed to get out.

Clara took one last good look at him before she walked towards the blue doors. She had to force herself not to look back as she slammed the door.

The Doctor ran to the window and watched her walk away into the Maitland's house. As he pulled the lever and heard the familiar groaning of the Tardis, the Doctor hung his head toward the floor and sobbed.


	7. Chapter 7

The Doctor watched Clara closely afterwards from afar. She got headaches periodically throughout the day and sometimes screamed in her sleep. She barely ate anything and some days she didn't get out of bed. She didn't even want tea anymore. The Doctor felt awful. He knew Clara had a depressive personality. She was the same way after her mum died. The Doctor had watched her then too, after seeing her at her mum's grave site. He needed to protect her. He'd seen her die in Victorian London. He never wanted to see her die again. He made periodic visits in his Tardis. He knew he couldn't show his face. She'd recognize him later.

It was a cold night in April 2006 when sixteen year old Clara took her dad's car keys while he was sleeping. The Doctor felt he should step in; Clara didn't have a license, but he stayed back. He waited for her to come back for nearly thirty minutes, but she never did.

The Doctor found himself banging on a door.

Clara's father answered the door angrily, "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Hello David Oswald."

"Do I know you?"

"Live down the street, don't come out much. I thought you might like to know that your daughter stole your car."

"Clara is in her room."

"You might want to check."

David's face looked suspicious. "Come in."

He left to go to Clara's room and came back unable to breathe with a note of paper in his hands.

"What is it?" The Doctor asked, panicking himself.

"She's gone to Charlton Park. I need one-one-two."

The Doctor sprinted from the house into his Tardis. Maybe he could save Clara before she did something awful. He didn't even care that she'd see him. Had his Clara seen him? Does she just pretend she hasn't?

Charlton Park was nearly forty minutes away. It was where he had seen Clara and her family playing soccer when she was a little girl. Clara's mother took her there a lot. It was where Ellie scored her first goal as a child and where she went into labor. It was her favorite park. She even had a bench dedicated in her name after she died.

The Tardis appeared there instantaneously and the Doctor ran out. His heart sank. He was too late. The black Bentley was headfirst in an oak tree, and the Doctor knew it wasn't an accident. He ran. The car was making an awful buzzing sound. The driver's and passenger's doors were smashed in so he flung open the back door. Clara's head was against the steering wheel. The airbag was deployed and deflated. Her arms hung limply at her sides. Broken glass was scattered everywhere.

He said her name, but she didn't answer. He climbed in the back, and with great effort, he was able to get her into the back seat and out the door. He collapsed with her onto the grass. Her face had tiny cuts everywhere.

But he had one strand of hope. She was breathing. Her chest rose and fell at even intervals. Then he remembered that Clara was still alive. His Clara was alive. She didn't die here.

He breathed a sigh of relief, "You'll be okay," he said to her.

The Doctor went to the hospital after Dave gave much persuasion that he didn't want to be alone. "I can't. Not after Ellie," he said on the way there.

"She'll be fine," the Doctor assured, "I'm positive she'll be fine."

"How can you say that?"

"I just know."

"You saved her life. If you hadn't of told me she took the car I'd of gone to bed. I would have never known. She'd a been there all night."

The doctor snapped out of his flashback. What if she tried something like that again? He sighed. He couldn't spy on her forever. Clara was damaged; he knew that. Despite her upbeat, bubbly and confident attitude, he always knew Clara was a potential stick of TNT. He had known what she did when she was sixteen before the two ever went to Akhaten.

Maybe he shouldn't be spying on her. He shouldn't have to babysit a twenty-four year old woman. She was silly back then when she was sixteen, but Clara was an adult now. She'd be fine.

At least he hoped.


	8. Chapter 8

Even though the Doctor knew he had to let Clara go, he still found it hard. Just one more day, he'd tell himself, which always turned into the next.

In the meantime, Clara had started going to community university to be a secondary school English teacher. She moved out of the Maitland's house after George confronted her about her transformation.

"I think you need time on your own," he'd said. "My kids don't need any more negative influences in their life."

"Negative?" She came back a little shaper than she'd intended.

"Clara. I love you. The kids love you. You've helped us so much, but there's something different about you. I've talked to your father. We've set money aside for you to get your own flat. It's in your bank account. I'll still be here if you need anything, but I don't think it's right for you to stay here in your current condition."

Clara was so angry. He was kicking her out in the nicest way possible. All the things she gave up to be with them. All the times she had picked the kids up, watched them, helped them with their home work, cleaned the house, and he was kicking her out.

"I don't need your help," she spat.

"Clara, I just think-"

"Oh save it." She ran upstairs to pack her things.

On the way down the stairs, George blocked her way with his arm. "Clara, I know a breakup can be hard, but this is a little extensive."

"It's not a breakup if you were never dating." She pushed past his arm. "You don't know anything about what you're talking about. Goodbye, Mr. Maitland. Thank you for your superb hospitality," she said coldly as she slammed the door.

Clara walked a few paces down the street before she spotted the blue box. "You've gotta be kidding me." She muttered. She turned on the spot and started walking in the opposite direction.

The Doctor couldn't help himself. He scrambled outside and called her name. He had to let her know that the way he reacted to letting her go was wrong.

She turned around, halfway. The two locked eyes for less than a moment, and then Clara picked up her pace, walking away from him, despite the weight of a suitcase. She pretended as if he wasn't there at all, and that hurt the Doctor more than anything he ever imagined.

Clara telephoned Emma, who lived by herself in a flat in center London.

"Do you still need a roommate?" She asked desperately.

"Wait, really? I asked you to move in months ago!"

"Well I'm accepting the offer."

"I thought you were busy with your family friends."

"Circumstances have changed."

Clara arrived there nearly out of breath twenty minutes later.

"You walked?" Emma asked.

"Take this," Clara said, shoving the suitcase into Emma's arms.

"So you moved out, why?"

Clara thought of telling Emma the story. The whole story, but then thought against it. Emma would never believe that Clara had been time traveling with a man who called himself the Doctor. Even more embarrassing, she couldn't tell Emma that she had been kicked out.

"Well, you know I'm going to school now, and with the kids it's just really hard to concentrate and I just think that I need my own space."

"Cool, well there's a pot of tea in the kitchen if you're interested. I need to make a call to the landlord and tell him I've found a roommate."

"I'm looking for a stronger drink," Clara said, "I'm feeling stressed out."

"Well it is Friday. There's a great place downtown if you're interested."

"Yes."

A few hours later, the Doctor watched the girls leave. Clara looked beautiful in a fitted black dress with a navy collar. She wore navy heels to match. A twinge of guilt played in his stomach. He hoped all the times he made fun of her appearance, she knew he'd been kidding.

Emma wore something to a similar effect. She had platinum blonde hair, and was about four inches taller than Clara.

He hoped they'd be okay on their own.

In a way, the Doctor felt happy. When it came to leaving Amy, she'd always had Rory. Clara didn't have that, but now she had company. Her best friend. He could finally go. He'd make sure the girls got back tonight, and then he'd leave them alone.


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor knelt down, but not before he saw Emma, stone still glaring at him. She had fear in her eyes and ice in her voice.

"What the bloody hell have you done?" She screamed, running over and pushing him out of the way.

"Clara. Clara, Get up. Clara!" She shook her.

"Emma," the Doctor said calmly, "I'm trying to help her. Please."

Emma looked at him, tears in her eyes, and she breathed out slowly, exhaling a white cloud. She was shivering and the doctor gave her his jacket. "Help me get her up."

They each took an arm and hoisted Clara up until she was bridal style, cradled in the Doctor's arms. The Doctor saw white air coming from Clara's nose now that her face was close to his. Her hair tickled the right side of his neck, and he kissed the top of her head.

"She's okay, Emma. I'll get her home with you. Go get Clara's coat"

"It'll take forty minutes to get a taxi now," Emma said; her voice shaking as she came back with two coats. She got Clara into her coat and then held her own. The Doctor wouldn't be able to put his back on holding Clara.

"We don't need a taxi, follow me."

"It's a police box," Emma said flatly when they arrived outside the Tardis parked a street away.

"It's a time machine," he returned as casually as if he'd asked what time it was.

Emma froze. "You're mad. You're absolutely mad. Let her go," Emma demanded as she tried to wrestle Clara from his arms. I'll take care of her myself."

"Stop!" The Doctor yelled. "You're going to make me drop her."

You expect me to get into that box with you and let you take Clara."

"Yes. I'll tell you what. I'll open the door. Have a look inside. Tell me what you think then."

The doors opened and Emma stuck her head inside. Her blue eyes bugged out of their sockets as she peered through the doors.

"It's bigger on the inside!" She said amazed.

"I told you, it's a time machine. Get in."

The Tardis appeared outside their flat and the three of them went inside.

The Doctor laid Clara down in her bed.

"She's not going to stop breathing is she?" Emma asked nervously.

"You should go to sleep," the Doctor offered. "I'll watch her."

Emma eyed him suspiciously. She didn't want to leave Clara alone with him. Then she realized that if the Doctor had wanted to hurt either of them, he would have done it by now.

"I didn't even get your name," Emma said.

He hesitated, "Um, John Smith. But I go by the Doctor."

"Doctor Who? Why?"

"Just the Doctor."

"Well Goodnight, Just the Doctor."

"Goodnight, Emma."

The Doctor held Clara's hand as he listened to her exhale. "What are we going to do with you?" He asked, as he brought her fingers to his forehead. "Clara, don't you understand? There's a hole in time. It's going to seep through into our world if I don't stop it. I can't stay, but I can't will myself to leave. And every day that hole gets bigger, and the universe begs me to save it."

He stroked her temple, pushing her hair behind her ears. "How can I save the world when I can't even do anything right to save you? Every time I think I can leave, something like this happens."

Clara stirred.

"Clara?"

She opened her eyes a little bit before she squeezed them shut, "The light," she moaned.

Clara swallowed a few times before her face went pale white. "Bucket," she whispered.

The doctor grabbed the trashcan from the corner and pulled Clara into a sitting position. He sat behind her so she wouldn't fall down onto her back. He shoved her head forward until Clara had emptied the entire contents of that night into the trashcan.

"Thirsty," She said.

The Doctor ran to get her a bottle of water, but every time she even took a little sip it ended up coming back into the trashcan. She leaned against the Doctor and he put his chin on the top of her head. She had waves of nausea about every seven minutes, sobbing into the trashcan; even when there was nothing left and dry heaves wracked her body.

They spent the rest of the night like that, and when Clara's wild-night karma finally passed, she fell asleep against the Doctor. And then, it was his turn to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

Clara woke up alone. Her head pounded and her mouth was so dry she thought for a moment that there was a wad of cotton in it. She spotted the bottle of water on the floor and drank it so fast she began choking. She heard voices outside her bedroom door and poked her head out to see The Doctor and Emma sitting at the kitchen table. The smell of coffee made her gag and she tried to steady herself against the door frame. The Doctor? What was he doing here? She tried to think back to last night. She remembered nothing after Emma had said she was going outside to get some air. Clara tried to close the door so the Doctor wouldn't see her, but Emma caught her eye.

"Rough night, eh?" Emma asked.

Bitch. Clara though as she went into the adjoining bathroom and slammed the door. Her head spun, and she felt nauseous, but not the about to be sick kind. She found Advil in the closet and studied her face in the mirror. She was in the same clothes from last night and her eye makeup was smeared everywhere. She washed her face until it was red and blotchy and sighed. She couldn't stay in the bathroom forever.

Clara went out into the kitchen and Emma made her toast. She'd been sitting at the same table as the Doctor for nearly ten minutes, and neither acknowledged each other.

"I can't eat that," Clara said, resting her forehead on the table.

"You'll feel better," Emma persuaded.

The Doctor stood up and thanked Emma for letting him stay the night. He started to the front door when Clara spun around in her chair. "Oy, just like a man, not even going to say hello."

"Just like a lady, neither are you."

"I'm not the one who abandons people they say they care about."

"No, Clara, you're not," The Doctor said, turning back and getting up in her face, "You're not the one who tried to kill herself when she was sixteen. You're not the one who let herself be ripped into a million pieces, dying over and over again with no care for anyone who would react to losing you. Your father, your friends, the kids you look after, your grandparents, aunts, uncles. You never left anybody, did you? I didn't abandon you, Clara. I kept you from hurting the people who love you most. Me included; and this is how you react." He was screaming at her now. "Do you know what it's like to lose someone over and over again? Maybe you can think about that. I've lost so many people, Clara. To name a few: Rose, Martha, Donna, Amy and Rory. Countless people I've met. And you. I don't want to lose you."

Clara didn't know what to say.

"Did I miss something?" Emma asked dumbfounded. Clara never told Emma she'd crashed her dad's car. She'd been too embarrassed to say anything about it. And of course, Emma knew nothing of Clara's travels.

Clara and the Doctor ignored Emma as they stared at each other.

"Okay," Emma said, "Well I'm going out."

After she'd closed the door, the Doctor continued. "The things I said to you were wrong. You don't get in the way. I just don't want to find myself holding your hand as you die again."

"You told me one that we don't walk away," Clara said.

"I also told you that when we're holding onto something precious—"

"You said we run," Clara cut him off. "We run. Not you."

The Doctor sat back at that. "Alright, Clara. I'll take you somewhere today. There's something you should see. Get dressed, and don't get sick in the Tardis or I'll throw you out into space. I'll show you what we've done."

After Clara showered, she broke into her jeans and sweatshirt collection, something she rarely did. Despite her dull headache and the burning need to sleep more, Clara brushed it aside and she went back into the kitchen.

"You shouldn't have said all that stuff in front of Emma," Clara scorned.

"I guess you'll have a lot of explaining to do later."

"She'll be so mad I never told her any of it." She paused. "You know, I know it was you who pulled me out of the car."

The Doctor stopped and stared at her. "You saw?"

"No. My dad told me a man in a tweed jacket and a bowtie saved my life."

"That could have been anybody."

"It could have been," Clara said, "but it was you."

When the two entered the Tardis, Clara saw an older man sitting in a chair in the console room. "Are we done running around yet?" He asked.

"You mean you haven't been enjoying my Tardis all this time?" The Doctor asked.

"There are more important matters to tend to before your procrastination destroys the world."

"Who's this?" Clara asked,

"Clara, this is the Doctor."


End file.
